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March 6, 2018

Filling the Empty Well

Here’s the thing – we all want to be loved, served, respected, and taken care of. Right? Right.
It’s common that on our journey trying to attain these things, we start to let our hearts become hardened to the changes WE can make and become firm on the stance that we deserve the best of everyone…all the while giving everyone our bottom of the barrel.
It’s often said that you can’t serve from an empty well – of course. I believe this is 100% true. BUT, could it also be true that it’s not up to others to FILL our wells?
Often as humans, our mindset can get stuck in the, “what can YOU do for me?” phase. We wonder why they haven’t thought of us, why they didn’t do that little thing we asked, why why why are they out to get me?
But, here’s the kicker…
It’s not all about you. And it’s not all about me. It’s about us. It’s about getting OUR tasks done, taking care of OUR life, and moving forward TOGETHER. This relates back to my post on dropping the independent mindset.
People anywhere would agree that marriage is tough. You’re taking two opposites and placing them in a whole life together and saying, “you got this!” But, the truth is, you DO have this. You can do this. But, not alone.
We have got to stop thinking of ourselves as the only one in this relationship.
I want to challenge myself, but also you, this week to take on this simple list below.

1. DO that thing you always ask of your spouse/significant other

Is this taking the trash out? Doing the dishes? Sending the little “good morning, I hope you have a great day” text first? Once we can learn to lessen our “assigned” tasks and join the same team, we can begin to grow better together.

2. Ask how their day was, even if you have 500 things to say about your own.

REALLY listen.

3. Write a note to leave for them to find and thank them for being who they are to you.

This doesn’t have to be fancy – this could be a simple note slid in their briefcase, lunch bag, gym bag, etc.

If you’re tired of lacking thoughtfulness, be thoughtful.
If you’re tired of lacking communication, start speaking up.
If you’re tired of eating out, cook a dinner.
If you’re tired of being stretched 800 ways, say no to what doesn’t move you forward.

Your well isn’t empty because of him, her, or what THEY did. Your well is empty because you stopped tending to it.

I challenge you to these three simple steps this week – this can apply to your marriage, dating relationship, maybe a best friend, family member…any way you look at it; start acting in love and you will be amazed at the love that comes back.
One last thing…quit getting frustrated at others for your uncommunicated expectations.
Learn to voice what you love, what’s frustrating you, and what’s got you hung up. Your spouse cares about you, loves you, but doesn’t live inside your mind.
If you’re tired of not feeling loved, start loving.
We’re in this together!
Is there a topic you’d love to hear Micah and I chat about on marriage? Comment below and we would love to host a future post about it!

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