What I've Learned in Two Years of Marriage

Today Micah and I celebrate two years of wedded bliss. TWO YEARS. That's pretty much a professional level now, right? 

I'd love to sit and tell you I've learned everything there is to know about marriage, but we all know, I'm far off with lots to learn.

BUT, I have most certainly learned a thing or two about forever and just how special life is when you spend it with the one you love.

Some people spend most of their lives searching for Mr./Mrs. Right...I'm here to tell you that person doesn't exist. Micah isn't perfect and I can PROMISE you I'm nowhere close. But, what fun would it be if we were?

If you've ever been around Micah & I for longer than 10 minutes, you know we ALWAYS have some type of "event" that has happened. Whether it's Micah's recent "near death" choking experience, my sudden bursts of sleep talking, or our constant Zoe stories...we have fun together. We pick at each other, we argue about restaurants (Micah, I promise I REALLY don't know what I want to eat!) just like anyone else, but at the end of the day, we're really crazy about each other.

SO, what has this 2-year newlywed (social science research purposes the newlywed stage may be considered as lasting up to four years into the marriage) bride learned in the beginning stages of her marriage?

1. Choose Laughter

Last night I was reading a book and it prompted me with the question of what does extravagant joy look like to me? The FIRST thing that came to my mind was laughing with Micah. Like real laughter. We laugh at just about anything, but we are pretty ridiculous together. There has been nights we lay in bed and make up songs, we have ridiculous baby conversations (don't ask), and most importantly, we took full ownership of the ole' bee filter on snapchat...

Example...

Now, I know there's times where laughter isn't the first instinct. It's actually the very last thing on your mind. But, I think the important thing is to work through your situation and be able to laugh about it in the end. If you have a fight you can't laugh about, maybe there's something more that she be discussed so you can truly close the door on it. 

2. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - ENJOY it!

I'm working really hard on not worrying about dishes and laundry. I said I'm working on it, not that I've accomplished it. But, I know that life is a lot better when I ditch the dirty dishes and opt for time out on the hammock with Micah and his guitar. That's a small moment in our big day, but it's something that matters SO much more. Dishes can wait, moments like that come and go. Time together, no matter how small, will always produce greater fruit.

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3. Fight

You read that right and I'm still trying to process that I'M saying it!!! In our relationship, I'd rather push everything under the rug & pretend all is well...but, that's when things pile up & when Micah comes home 2 minutes late & I get upset...at the bottom of it, I'm not upset he was home 2 minutes late, I'm upset about that fight I avoided 2 weeks ago. Micah has most definitely been the leader in this area and is constantly showing me that it really is worth it and we have something to fight for. The moment we stop fighting, the moment we have a true issue and things get a little more complicated. The reality is we're two different people, coming from two different backgrounds, merging under one roof. It would be odd to NOT have disagreements; but beauty comes from the common ground we find. It's hard to work through the tough talks, but in the end, it has always made us stronger and it always will.

4. Do Things Just For the Two of You

This was a recent one that Micah & I both agreed has bettered our relationship. With my "job" being very online based and that's how my clients get to know me, it's common that I tend to share a lot about dates we go on, etc. BUT, we've both found sometimes it's vital to put your phone away, don't check in, don't post a photo. Sure, we take the photo, but we let it be for us. Because sometimes it's nice to do things that not everyone has to be included on. We're in a relationship with each other, not our 1,000 facebook friends. So we've learned small trips for just us, movie dates, etc. It's nice to share something only the two of us know :) 

5. Always Say, "I Love You"

There hasn't been a single day that's passed that Micah and I don't say we love each other. Even when he's on my last nerve (he's quite acquainted with him) I still love him. We went through a very hard season last fall, one that was unexpected and painful. We were both often on opposite pages, but had to learn how to deal together. Often, when there was nothing else to say or talk about, we settled for, "I love you" and that was always enough. 

I know we're still in the beginning, but it's such a fun ride. I can't imagine spending this life with anyone else by my side. We've been through many states, stranded in airports, moved in and our of our first apartment, had our first little rent home, road trips, almost every coffee shop in the 918, laughed until we cried, written many songs (none that will ever make the radio), cried together, cruised the ocean, traveled on mission trips, and so much more. I can't wait for our next adventure.

Micah is selfless, loving, caring, passionate, creative, talented, handsome, and every single bit of who God has created him to be. Cheers to two years and forevermore! 

Wedding photos by Emily Hughes

Holly Felts

Holly Felts is a wedding & lifestyle photographer serving the Tulsa, Oklahoma area and beyond.